Sex Educaton for Teens

Talking about sex with your teenage daughter or son is difficult already however it is also difficult and uneasy for them to hear it from their parents. Most teens don’t want to face the fact that their parents actually do have sex and that is how they were brought about! Now of course they know how they were brought into this world but they don’t want to hear all the horrid stories about the so called “birds and the bees” story as you don’t feel comfortable talking to them about it. If you talk to them from the time they are little about anything and everything and you have given them the comfort of knowing there is no closed door on any subject they will feel a sense of comfort and know your care and concern. It’s that open door policy that I use with my children. My daughter knew what a tampon was at the age of 4 however she didn’t know all of the details but she knew it was for ladies to use for one week out of the month called our “lady time” and I see nothing wrong with making her aware of what it was called without sugar coating it or lying to her or saying nothing.

Sex educating our teens is a very important conversation that I feel is very much needed in depth with them and not just about pregnancy. Yes, pregnancy does occur however it’s not the only discussion that should be talked about. This is why giving them the accessibility of condoms is a very good idea. That way they can be protected at all times. When a girl starts her menstrual cycle it’s probably a good idea to get her regulated on birth control pills if she is into having sex. Sex education for teens is a very important thing for teens these days to hear.

HIV is one of the most deadly diseases of all that a person can get from being sexually active. Do you know how many partners has the person you are sleeping with has slept with? The reason for the question is because you are sleeping with every person he/she has slept with and vice versa. You don’t know all of the sexual history that a person has and they don’t know that about you either and it becomes a viscous cycle. You can and should get tested every 6 months because as previously stated it is a silent killer and sometimes goes undetected without proper testing and it could become too late and you don’t want that to happen.

As one parent to the next I suggest that you discuss every angle there is about educating your teen about sex education for teens. If you are a little nervous about it you can read some books on how to talk to them to break the ice and not sound so scared or make them so vulnerable or afraid or embarrassed when doing so. You can go to your local library and read up on some books that can help you better talk to them on their level but also as a parent. I know for me there was a cute book all about sex education for teens that I read and I’m sorry I can’t recall the name but there are some good one’s out there that you can get to help you level with your teen. It is very important to be able to have that line of communication open because when they do have (and they will) sex for the first time (if still under your roof) you will want them to come to you for advice or help. You need to prepare them with all the tools to keep them safe. Make sure they have condoms in their wallet and purses and make sure they have money to call home with if they need you or their cell phones are charged when they leave out on a date. Just be there for them, sometimes they just want someone to listen. Don’t pry they will come to you if you make them realize that line of communication is open and just be prepared because it’s never easy. Just know that you have given them all the information and tools needed to help them make the right decision when it comes to sex education for teens!

Sex Education For Minors

Here is how it was when I was a kid. We learned about sex in school, in church, and of course, in our neighborhoods. Some kids had little comic books with hard-porn sex illustrations. I can only speak for the boys. I started to hear of sexual experiences from boys when I was in elementary school. Most of them were not true but we liked to hear them and live them vicariously.

We had little experience with girls but boys have an interest in girl’s anatomy when they are very young, barely out of kindergarten, and they will try to explore their interest perhaps asking a girl to show her private parts.

Masturbation was common, speaking only for the boys. Group masturbation or “speed” contests occurred. There were occasional homosexual acts. Some boys began having sexual intercourse when in their early teens. These were called, “bad kids.”

When I was about 12, my father took me on a 20 mile hike telling me about the birds and the bees. He mainly told me horror stories about masturbation. I really didn’t know what he was talking about. I was much more interested in the old pits used for catching black bears, the snakes, and the fact that my father knew all the wild flowers by name. The most interesting thing was his story about the bear trainer who was sparing with a black bear who took only one swing at the man. He was knocked out for several days, more like a week.

Later a doctor was brought to the church to talk to the boys about masturbation. To say the least, we all had a great interest in the subject. Again, I was one of the youngest boys and got into a fit of the giggles. So did a couple of other boys. It was all new to us!

I might add that not all boys took up masturbation, just most of them.

Some boys had wet dreams. These were often told in detail. One boy had a dream where his ROTC instructor was really a woman in disguise. That way his admiration for the instructor and his desire for sex were satisfied in one swell scoop.

Sex was “totally revealed” in junior high school and high school but not in the classroom. We were now associating with girls and we played such games as “Post Office.” We often mentioned the game “Pony Express,” which was said to be “Post Office with a little more horsing around.”

In “Spin the Bottle” or “Post Office” the reward was to go into a dark bedroom with a girl and receive a kiss. I don’t remember how the game of “Post Office” was played but I remember “Spin the Bottle,” a game we had played when we were tiny kids.

Some boys were now dating, Many of us were not.

So that is how we got our education. I remember a short morality lecture in my high school gym class, but that was it.

The fact of the matter is that we never had any in-depth sex education.

Sexual Codes

I don’t think that in nature there is a code of conduct in regard to sexuality. Other primates have their own ideas. Some are very promiscuous to prevent confrontations. Others are more discrete, the males vigorously guarding their harem. This occurs with many other animal species.

Young animals are not always safe from adult males. If a female will come into heat, or estrus, if her young are killed, the young are in grave danger. Male lions are known for this behavior. The reasoning given by those who study such critters is that they must spread their DNA quickly or lose the chance to other marauding males. I think they know nothing of such talk. They just want sex.

A Zulu chief once said that clothing led to promiscuity, not nudity. When everyone is nude, nobody has a question about the anatomy of males and females. Some male children are bathed with their mother when very young and know about her. But most children know little of the opposite sex’s anatomy.

Now days, because of television, children are exposed to nudity and sex. Actually, you can not see sex organs of a woman when she is nude. You see some pubic hair maybe, but not anything else. Television and movies until recently did not show the sex organs of men. Well, now you see that.

I suppose that hard porn leaves nothing to the imagination. That is something that I have stayed away from. Well, when I was a kid, a friend freshly home from the navy, showed me some pics he bought in the Philippians. Such images tend to stick in the mind.

Part of our problem is that we paint sex as wicked rather than as natural as scratching your nose. In some societies, teenagers are left to their whims, that is if we have not killed those societies off, they take off from the community and have sex. Fidelity comes only after marriage. Such societies simply face the facts and they don’t have our problems. Babies come and, in at least the Amazon, they come from the Man in the Moon. Nasty fellow!

Some societies think that a stranger needs food, water, warmth, shelter and sex. They are know to share their wives with guest. You must travel north to see that but is all existent in other societies. We call those “Primitive Societies.”

Some northern climes seem to promote sexual laxity.

I think that in most civilizedcommunities, sex education in schools is mandatory. Abstinence before marriage is often promoted and that works for many teenagers. The complaint here is that the emphasis may be “too much” on condoms and pregnancy prevention rather than local moral issues.

Here are my opinions for what they are worth:

Teaching in the Home

I asked my wife when she taught our children about modesty. She said when they start dressing themselves. In out society we often judge people by how they dress. We can teach our children to be modest and we can teach them about clothing and how it looks to others.

I asked her about how she taught other issues of sex to our children. She said that I taught the “hard stuff.” I told he that I couldn’t remember doing it but she said I did. It must have been during our Monday night family meetings when we taught a lesson, played games, and had refreshments. Based on that, I assume I taught the tenets of our church. So, maybe that is how you can teach your children at home. Spend on evening with them each week and teach them a lesson, have some fun, eat, and plan out the schedule for the week so everyone will know how the twins are getting to soccer practice and how Mary will get to her piano lesson.

I never taught any details of sex. We taught it belongs in marriaige and that is a binding force between couples and brings children into the home.

Teaching in Religious Organizations

If your religion has youth groups, that may be a good place to teach kids about ethics and moral conduct. Our church has the young men and young women separated most of the time. That leads to an opportunity to teaching specifics. One leader taught that the boys have a little “machine” inside them that brings on wet dreams occasionally and to leave it at that. One said that masturbation is stupid. The boys are not to masturbate but to be morally clean so they can represent the church throughout the world.

Teaching in Schools

I think sex topics should be taught early and often. In the early years, specifics of anatomy and reproduction could be taught. As children get older, they can be taught about sexually transmitted diseases such as was once taught in the military, the risks, the dangers, and prevention. The old military films showed some awful results of gonorrhea and syphilis. They showed male parts falling off and a soldier causing his wife to give birth to a blind child due to his gonorrhea. When I was in the army, the thinking was changed and replaced with morality training.

I think that sexual norms can be taught, helping students learn what is expected by them in society. Fidelity should be emphasized. Why? Because a person who is promiscuous before marriage may be apt to be unfaithful after marriage. That leads to much sorrow, legal problems, financial problems, and trauma to parents and children. This however, I understand, is not true in some parts of New Guinea. Fidelity usually works there despite premarital infidelity.

Premarital Counseling

I think a lot of misunderstanding and problems between newly weds could be removed by premarital counseling. Men can be very naive about a women, her needs, her concerns, and her anatomy. I realize that with time, things will come together but it would be better if these things were taught sooner. There are still many newly weds who are not experienced in sexual matters.

Unfortunately, there are many adults who have been married for some years who don’t know what should be going on. That is why we have so many sex clinics.

A knowledgeable family doctor can give good advice to brides and grooms.

Fly Old Glory!

Talking About Sex With Your Teenager

Answering teen sex questions and talking about sex with your teen can be difficult, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and awkward….and that’s when it’s easy. For teens and adults, answering teen sex questions and dealing with teen sex issues can be one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. The fact is, though, that your teen probably already knows more than you could possibly imagine about sex, and what they’re really looking for from you is truth, honesty, and a sense of comfort.

Teens and kids even younger than that are exposed, not only through TV and movies but through advertisements and books and hearing kids talk in the hallways at school, to every possible sex topic. Kids can be watching the most innocuous television programming and be exposed to Viagra ads that openly discuss erectile dysfunction. If you’ve never even had the “birds and the bees” talk with your teen, that can create an entire litany of questions.

Yet teen sex and teen pregnancy are once again on the rise. In the states, the rates are increasing at a rapid rate. Experts blame the increase on the conservative right political efforts to have abstinence only education in schools. Many teens are not being taught about condoms, or are being given false information about condoms through these programs.

What your teen really needs from you is the understanding that even if both of you agree that teen sex is not something your teen should be doing and that abstinence is the best policy, that it is still possible that something could happen. Your teen needs you to arm him or her with the knowledge that using condoms does save lives, prevent STDs, and prevent unplanned pregnancy. Your teen must trust that you are the source of information that will rise above embarrassment, politics, or social pressure to be the voice of compassion, reason, and understanding.

If you have a teen, you can be guaranteed that with or without your teen’s consent, his or her body is being prepared for sexual activity. It is the way in which humans perpetuate the existence of our species…we are made to have sex. If you’re the parent of a teen, you need to be answering teen sex questions honestly and openly. Don’t stigmatize sex or make it difficult for your teen to come to you with concerns.

Since they most likely already know more than you expect, the role you play is more about building trust than actually teaching them anything about sex. Your role is to reassure them and be a safe place to turn. If you need help knowing what to say to your teen about sex, start by letting your teen know that you are there for him or her. Use opportunities like TV shows or other moments when sexual situations are portrayed to let your teen know that if he or she has questions, you’re happy to talk to them. Don’t minimize your teen’s feelings, and reassure your teen that you care. By opening the dialogue, your teen will be more likely to come to you for information than seek it from a friend at school or the internet.